Most times, couples find themselves stuck in such a situation, and are bereft of possible ways to navigate out of that situation. On both sides, its a quite tacky situation, most especially if you haven’t experienced something of that nature, either while growing up with parents or during courtship.
A lady in her mid-thirties got married to her husband while she was 24, and at the time, he had a steady job and some other sources of income at the side. He encouraged her to resign in order to take care of the kids when they started having some, and she willingly obliged him.
Seven years down the line, he was involved in official malpractice which led to the loss of his position at the company and ultimately his job. He was devastated. He refused to open up to this wife, until about 6 months later when he had spent all his savings trying to cover up in hope of getting a new job before then, and also loosing all his other sources of income. They were left broke to the bones. If you were in her situation as a lady what would you do?
First and foremost, you should note that this is a very sensitive period for both of you. No one asked to be caught up in such a situation, but there you are, with your spouse, who you promised to stand by through thick and thin on the altar.
In as much as you might want to remain upset with him, remember that he is also at a vulnerable point of his life, and any wrong words you utter at that point might end up registering in his books forever. You don’t want to go that route, instead, have a mature conversation and express your displeasure in the manner he handled the matter. Let him know that it is not ok for him to make certain decisions about finances without your knowledge as a major stakeholder of the home.
It is important that you attack such conversations with the end in mind, which is not condemn him, but rather his actions, which have now produced a negative effect on family unity.
Every woman is a potential entrepreneur. It just takes the right situation to unveil such potentials. That being said, how about you look past his mistakes and try to set up something by the side, to augment the spendings, just before a miracle happens?
This is why it is utterly important for a woman to be prudent. Sometimes, the clouds don’t go grey before it begins to rain, and you might be caught up in such a situation in the future, why not save for rainy days regardless of what the weather report reads.
As a wife, you are the backbone of the marriage, just like a life support machine, that helps to keep a person alive. If this fails as well, we all know that death is imminent. However, if this is not the case, it is ok to reach out to trust friends and family members, who could help ease the burden, and this is not for them to give you fish, but to teach you how to fish for yourself.
Though you might not have been informed when the whole process of his retrenchment was going down, bear in mind that in the grand scheme of things, you would most likely feature in his life drama. At this point, your husband is open to a lot of ideas and thoughts, hence he is at alert of your every move. Don’t give him the chance to paint you in a bad light, Afterall, you have both now become one flesh, and in reality, nobody fights with their bodies, simply because that body part made an error.
Eventually, things would turn around for good, and while there is light at the end of the tunnel, you also have to watch out for what goes on inside the tunnel, else you might find yourself stuck in there, with no plans of moving out.
Be your husband’s best friend at such a trying period, it might not be easy, but putting effort is all that is required to get there.
Jenny Soul is a passionate relationships expert, dating counselor and sales coach. She is also a songwriter, performer and mum. When she is not writing, she engages in counselling sessions and motivational speeches to young people.