There are factors that kills love. Relationships are not always as milky and rosy as we dream. There are hurdles. There are also strangers who will want to have what you have with the hopes that getting one of you love birds to be his/hers will grant him the same amount of affection that exists between you love birds.
But hey? No! It doesn’t work like that, love is a strong feeling that flows naturally towards a particular person and when you find yourself in love, you will do all it takes to protect and nurture that love. Therefore I am going to explain three factors that can kill that sweet feeling that exists between you and your partner.
The three unknown factors that kills love
- Pride and Doubt
- Inability to communicate freely
- People’s Opinion
1. Pride and Doubt
Have you seen or heard of a man who loves a particular lady dearly, he defends her openly, tries to protect her but refuses to let his feelings out through words to her? Yes, there are women like that as well. You may want to say it is shyness from both parties but sometimes it is not shyness rather it is pride.
They don’t want to drop their pride and start a conversation that will lead to something beautiful as what they feel inside. Pride is very dangerous and frustrating as well.
What causes the pride is an idea that he/she is not up to what you have been bragging about but yet your heart fell for her/him, still your pride will not let you take the walk.
Pride kills love, it prevents a person from expressing their feelings and being loved in a special way. Doubt is an uncertain state of mind towards a thing, a person or situation. In love affairs, doubt kills faster because it does not permit free or smooth communication. You will be wondering what his/her response will be if you tell him/her a thing or take a particular decision alone.
Do you doubt the complete affection of your partner? You may not know how much he loves you unless you learn to trust his/her decisions, words and actions completely. Doubting your partner will not help you love him/her more, love only comes when you have trusted enough. Drop the doubts and out in some more trust
2. Inability to communicate freely
How do I know how you feel if you are not talking? Or if you expect me to always know what you want without you saying it? I will tell you a short story of my life.
I once had a sweet beautiful relationship, the love was pure, but I wanted him to hear my mind, I wanted him to just look at me and know what I wanted. He was doing it well and I loved him dearly, it felt like magic.
He is a human with his own problems, life hit him hard from his office and he was terrified but still stood his ground, only that he couldn’t look at me and know what I wanted anymore because his mind was bent on how to fix the problems he was having at the office.
I became sad, felt unloved, I wanted to help him out of whatever the mess was but my situation was not good either. I kept silence and gradually I could not tell him what plans I was having in my own life, our communication became poor till we drifted into lovers without understanding: he was in pain from the stress at work, I could not help him, I felt so useless that I decided to leave him; yes that was stupid of me, but I thought leaving him will ease some part of the problems but it didn’t-now I know.
That was how the relationship ended. My inability to communicate killed the relationship. You should not be like me, talk about everything with your partner both the good and the bad. Read more about communication in this article : How to improve communication skills in a relationship
3. People’s opinion
When you started liking your partner I bet you did not seek anybody’s opinion whether to continue the likeness or stop. No you did not seek anybody’s opinion, so why do it now that you have found out that you love him?
People will give you different opinions and you will not be able to choose which one is safe for your relationship, so it is better you don’t even seek the public’s opinion, instead talk with your partner and sort things out.
The public’s opinion is a third party opinion in your relationship, and it is bound to result in misunderstanding because the relationship contains only two persons. Worst part is that social media is a third party in our current society, it ruins a lot, some people depend on followers’ opinion to run their relationship, it will not help you in any way.
You do not need the public’s opinion on how to be happy in your relationship, all you need is a good communication between you and your partner, good and smooth communication erases doubt, it helps you talk about the things that could have created doubt in your mind.
I’ve successfully explained three factors that kill love in a relationship. I will then give you some tips on how to examine yourself so as to know when your feelings are not in the same space anymore and some other things to do to retain those feelings.
How to close the gap in your love space
- Be open to learning about your partner
- Be adaptable; people change, if you want to remain in the same love space with your partner, then be able to adapt and accept new things.
- Be free, do not hold in your emotions, open up and let your partner know who you are both in the dark and the light.
- If you truly experience love with a particular person, then try to be honest with them at all times. Lies destroy.
- Always apologize as fast as possible when you are wrong.
- Both parties’ shoulders can not be high at the same time. If you really want to retain the love in your relationship, then one person has to bring their shoulders down and be the softness in the relationship.
There are several other factors that kills love in a relationship. Dive deeper into How you can sustain a long distance relationship.
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