You’re probably thinking your relationship is peculiar simply because you have not figured out the best communication practices to foster a healthier environment for you and your partner. If you are in this situation, then you are not alone.
As far as the hands of time can reach, communication has been one of the most important life skills, and also the easiest to fail. It takes time to form a healthy communication habit, but there won’t be any point in trying if you are not even aware that you suck at it.
As simple as it may sounds, this major activity has ended a lot of relationships prematurely and also bred enmity between people who were once inseparable. Often times, it is being kept as a back burner issue, till it poses a threat of raising the roof, and by then, it might have been too late to redeem any foreseen unwanted circumstance.
When two people go into a relationship, they make a decision to share each other’s lives, and this comes with a whole lot of baggage. Assumptions are inevitable, and can most likely ruin a relationship, however, communication comes as a useful tool to fix every crack created by this joy sapping feeling.
If you do not communicate with your partner, how would they ever know? Arguably there are things you really do not to communicate to your partner, regardless, they would still a green light from you, to be sure they are walking in the right path.
Though there are no set rules on the ‘Best’ way to communicate wot your partner, there are ‘better’ ways to drive home the message without putting your relationship on the line.
Be Honest: Communication done in dishonesty is no communication at all. If you really want things to work out between you two, then you need to e entirely open and honest. That being said, you should also be willing to study the kind of person your partner, in order to work how to present your honest truth.
This simply means your manner of approach. Just because you need to be honest doesn’t mean you keep literally screaming the truth into your partner’s ears. You might think you have communicated that way when in all honesty, you have only succeeded in making things worse between both of you, which brings to the next item…
Choose the Right Time: If you would be honest with yourself, then you would know there the right time is an important ingredient in a healthy communication habit with your partner.
There are times when you are really itching to let them know about something, but simply delaying that process, might do a lot of good considering if they are not in the mood for such talk or conversation. It is not just about being open and Chinese anymore, you also need to consider the period and how well things might eventually play out. Don’t be selfish about this.
Use the 48 Hour Rule: If you’re offended about something your partner did to you and it makes you upset, it best you let them know about, but not immediately, as your emotions are still everywhere at this point.
If you still feel the same way after 48 hours then speak up, and if you don’t, it probably wasn’t worth the fuss anyway. However, you need to bear in mind something your actions may not be loud enough for your partner to read, neither can they read your mind, so if you act upset and they are not aware of what they did to make you upset, then you can’t blame them for not apologizing for what they might know nothing about in the first place, and once they eventually apologise once you have decided to talk about it, then forgive them and let it go. (Hard but not impossible).
Limit Online Conversations on Sensitive topics: True, you may run a busy schedule, that eats into half or the whole of your week, but if you are going to make that relationship work, then its best you think of ways to table that issue physically rather than a casual phone conversation, chats, or text messages.
The major reason is that you never can tell what is going on the other end, and besides words and reactions could be misinterpreted, which could lead to several avoidable arguments or what have you. It’s best that as much as possible, you communicate physically with your partner over serious issues, especially if luck has it that you are not bound by geographical barriers, e.g; Long Distance Relationships.
While it is important to leave the communication lines open and healthy, it is also important that you don’t neglect other aspects of your relationship, with the hope that a simple conversation would work the magic, because it most likely wouldn’t. Put in the work as well.
Jenny Soul is a passionate relationships expert, dating counselor and sales coach. She is also a songwriter, performer and mum. When she is not writing, she engages in counselling sessions and motivational speeches to young people.