It can never be overemphasized that relationships are a two-way street. You give, and then you get, and sometimes, it gets more complex than that. Toxic behaviors are bad.
Sometimes, we tend to judge from the other side of the divide when it comes to being right or wrong in a relationship. There are certain things that are intolerable in relationships and one of that is toxic behavior. This can affect the peace in any relationship, no matter the length of years and ultimately lead to a break-up.
These are particular identifying behaviors to hint that you are being toxic in a relationship;
- Nagging: No one, absolutely no one, enjoys a nagging partner. The interesting thing is that you really do not have to nag to register your grievances with your partner or make them do what you need them to do. People who have found themselves in relationships with those who nag would agree that it leads to nowhere. All you get is irreconcilable differences that could go on for years.
Depending on the kind of person your partner is, you can pacify him or her with what you know they cannot resist, and while at it, register your displeasure, or whatever it is that needs to be addressed. Whenever you catch your self in the act of nagging, remember that two wrongs don’t make a right.
- Plotting Revenge: Do you find yourself always plotting an act of revenge for your partner when they have done something wrong? Then its high time you started considering yourself as the toxic partner in the relationship. Revenge should not be a usual occurrence in any healthy relationship.
Forgiveness and cooperation are two pillars of a good relationship that most people fail to acknowledge and practice. You cannot claim you love your partner, and at the slightest given opportunity, you are off to making him/her suffer what they did wrong, whether intentional or not. Maturity plays a huge role here. It is advisable you are a heart to heart talk with your partner about what they are doing that really hurts you.
- Being suspicious: The danger about being overly suspicious of your partner’s every move is that at the end of the day, you begin to believe what you suspect, not minding if it’s true or not. Never put yourself in a position to be suspicious of your partner, Love is built on trust, and trust is not a day’s job. It is achieved as a conscious act.
When you feel you can’t trust your partner anymore, rather than suspecting them, why not have a discussion with them about your fears, or better still, peacefully exit the relationship. You would do your mental stability a whole lot of good when you try this out.
- Feeding Negative Vibes: As much as most people in relationships would hate to agree, vibes are important, and your relationship thrives on whatever vibes it feeds on. How do you react when things go south with your partner? Do you overreact, or do you sulk and keep malice with him/her? These are questions you should ask yourself if you suspect you are being toxic.
You are an average of the five people you spend time with the most. Of these five, your partner takes almost 40% of your time, and if you keep a negative vibe for a long time, it would in-turn affect your partner and relationship. What an energy drag!
- Being Manipulative: manipulating partner may have their way 80% of the time, but the moment their other half finds the truth, most times, it’s game over. When you find yourself trying to blackmail your partner emotionally, probably through something they have done in the past, or with secret knowledge of their weakness that you possess, seeking a way to use these to your advantage, then you are being manipulative.
The moment you realize this, then you should be aware that you being toxic, most especially when this affects other areas of your relationship with him/her. You do not have to make someone feel bad to get what you want, there are more suitable and just ways to carry that out.
Sometimes, we are tricked to thinking that our partners are toxic meanwhile, we are the ones being toxic! Hopefully, you check and justify yourself by the absence of these actions.
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