Marriage is a big deal, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. From that moment onward, begins the rest of your life. Your choice of partner would go a long way in determining your all-round stability or not as the days and years roll by.
Be that as it may, it doesn’t hurt to begin to gear up and get ready for the various circumstances and situations you would face, be it good or bad.
It is important that right after the main question has been popped, and there is an agreement, these defining question should be asked as well;
- What are your financial goals?: Your partner needs to have a financial plan set up, if not it would put a strain on the smooth running of the relationship in marriage and also cause unwanted rifts and misunderstandings. Ask him or her what plans they have to provide for or support the family as the case may be.
There is no need for assumptions in cases like this. Its either they have one in mind, or they don’t. If they don’t, you can take time to help them plan, before other things begin to demand their attention financially.
- How many children do you want?: Most times, couples don’t have the same answer when asked this question, which is why it is important to ask this question before marriage in order to manage expectations. If you both don’t want the same number of kids, you can come to a comprise and settle for the best option in your interests, right after placing all your cards on the table.
In as much as having children is a beautiful thing to many, some don’t want kids, and if this isn’t a deal-breaker for you, you can both agree on something beneficial to each party.
- What are your spiritual values?: Although this should have been dealt with in the early stage of the relationship, there is no harm in reaffirming where your partner stands spiritually. This is important because you need to know where you stand in the marriage, and how your partner’s spirituality might affect your balance, most especially if you both aren’t on the same side in this regard.
Your partner’s spiritual focus is just as important as every other thing in the marriage. Don’t place it in the back seat.
- What are your family values?: Does your partner place premium value on family matters? Do they love family time? Are they used to the idea of family? What does his/her family background reflect? Would this come in the way of the success of our marriage? These and many more are the questions you should ask your partner, before walking down the aisle.
It is paramount to have knowledge about their idea of family, as you both are about to start one. Leave no room for big disheartening surprises in the marriage.
- How do you handle pressure?: You might not want to hear this but marriage comes with a lot of pressure. How does your partner react and respond to pressure? Do they give in easily, or do they tackle it head-on? Their response to this question would determine the possible outcomes when you both begin to have misunderstandings in the marriage as well.
Pressure is deep-rooted in almost everything we do. hence it important that you discuss this important fragment of day to day living with your partner. This would help you to adjust to situations as they come, and even throw in some support when needed during a crisis.
Spoiler alert! You may not necessarily get the answers you desire, but no answers are perfect. What is important is that you can live with those answers, without losing yourself in the marriage.