Tade and her boyfriend met at the university and became friends instantly. They began dating from their second year and it has been so since then.
Right after school, they both got well-paying jobs, though in different parts of the country. They are both successful in their various fields. It’s been 6 years since they left the university, but their relationship is still intact, even though they have had breakups at least twice in the timeline of their relationship.
Tade is losing patience with her boyfriend because he has refused to propose. Her parents are getting weary waiting for her to be proposed to, and they don’t seem to understand what is taking her boyfriend so long to pop the question.
Tade is at her wit’s end trying to hint him on why he should propose and take the relationship to the next level. She really loves, but she is running out of time and patience. What would you do if you were in her shoes?
There are a lot of relationships with this same storyline and even though the years of dating may vary, it’s still the same complicated scenario. There is never a balance to this thing called relationship, because while some believe that staying long a relationship would guarantee marriage, others spend less than three months, and are already walking down the altar, hence, At this point, it is paramount put each unique relationship in perspective because there is never a one size fits all approach to relationships.
If you are in this sort of situation, its best you begin to consider a whole lot of factors, and while doing, you need to ensure that you are both open and truthful to each other. It could be that he sincerely wants to get married to you and have you as his life partner, but he is being constrained by a lot of challenges and the major one being his family.
His family could have a hand in his reluctance to pop the question, as there is a high likelihood that they might have hinted that you are not the one for him, using funny standards. At this point, you both need to sit and work it out. If these conditions are based on things that can be settled then why not, work out a way to persuade them together, if not, then it’s better late, than later if you get the point.
No matter how long you might have found yourself in such a relationship, the moment you realise you should quit is the moment you should quit. Sometimes our sentiments get the better of us and we begin to say things like; “Oh, I have spent 6 years of my life with him, I cant simply back out now”. The more you stay in a relationship that you perceive is leading to no meaningful destination is the moment you should pack your baggage and leave, you need to spend your entire life with someone before he sees that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
Another thing you might want to consider is the kind of person that he is. Does he play around? Is he committed? Does he cheat on you? If your answer is Yes to the first and last question, having spent such a long time in a relationship, then it’s best you leave and not hurt yourself further, because he probably would ever pop the question, and you definitely can’t spend your lifetime waiting for him to come around and realize the mistakes he has made or making because your time is precious.
Still, on lifestyle, he might not even be the cheating type, but simply loves his space, hence he has not seen the need to give up that space for the rest of his life. If this is the case, then you might need to tread softly, in order not to offset any alarms in his head. He already has doubts about marriage, and you don’t need to complicate things further. While it’s easy to have a conversation around this topic, you might also need to give him some space, if he truly wants you, he will come around, and this time it might be based on your own terms. (Don’t go too hard though).
Long terms relationships are not for everyone, and if you are in that category of people who don’t have such patience with relationships, the moment you begin to see the light of your relationship going in that direction, then its time to review your stance together as a couple and eventually come to a compromise. The important part is don’t lose yourself trying to get someone to propose to you. Let it come as natural as possible.
Jenny Soul is a passionate relationships expert, dating counselor and sales coach. She is also a songwriter, performer and mum. When she is not writing, she engages in counselling sessions and motivational speeches to young people.