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Home Blog Relationships

What It Means To Be In A Complicated Relationship

Jenny Soul by Jenny Soul
June 16, 2020
in Relationships, Blog
0
What It Means To Be In A Complicated Relationship

Its Complicated

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Complicated relationshipsIt’s so easy for adults to figure the best way out for them to be at ease with themselves, hence when it comes to romantic relationships, it’s the best choice for them to voice out “It’s complicated” simply because they are running from whatever might hurt them or make them seem weak. 

Back to base, how do you know you are actually in a ‘Complicated’ relationship? How do you affirm that you are also heading for a ‘Complicated’ relationship? Are there rules guiding ‘Complicated’ relationships?

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The truth of the matter is that you really don’t have to be, or find your self in a ‘Complicated’ relationship if you have knowledge of the red flags that point in that direction. 

You already know you’re heading for the rocks, or better still in this situation, a complicated relationship, when you hide and shy from the truth. That is the basic lacking ingredient of most complicated relationships-The Truth. The moment you stop owning up to the truth about your relationship, you begin to look for excuses to stay, and when that begins to happen, it seems almost natural to begin to give excuses like; “Oh, you won’t understand, it’s Complicated. No it’s not, you’re the one making things complicated with the lies you’re telling yourself, simply because you want to dwell in that place of deceit, which in all ramifications, isn’t healthy for your psychological being. 

However, while this is certain, setting yourself free from such a relationship, might then be termed complicated. For instance, how do you walk up to your boyfriend of say 8 years, and let him know that you are no longer interested in the relationship because you don’t have feelings for him anymore? After 8 whooping years? Isn’t that complicated? As a result of this, you hide from telling your truth, and keep suffering in silence, when people who care about you ask about the state of your relationship, you are so quick to say “It’s Complicated”.

what to do in a complicated relationship

The hard truth is that life is already hard enough to add the complexities of romantic relationships to it, and the more we refuse to own our truth, the more we keep complicating matters.

Sometimes, such relationships can also arise the moment two people flirt and have something going, but are not bound by a relationship in any way. This is the reason why communication is a life skill, which should be deployed at all times.

If you ever find yourself in such a situation like this, it’s best you have a mature conversation around the subject, and figure out ways to solve, without anyone’s feelings being hurt. There is no point keeping someone around, on the basis of flirting, especially when you have both not defined what the situation is. The longer it lasts, the more complicated it would get, and sometimes situations like this don’t end pretty. One person gets hurt, and it could be a lifetime ruin! 

Just as a recap, the basic steps for detangling yourself from a ‘Complicated’ relationship are Owning your truth, Being open, and Staying real. If you get these wrong in such a situation, then your relationship (or what you think you have) might be heading for the rocks. 

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Jenny Soul

Jenny Soul

Jenny Soul is a passionate relationships expert, dating counselor and sales coach. She is also a songwriter, performer and mum. When she is not writing, she engages in counselling sessions and motivational speeches to young people.

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Nigerian music industry is mourning the loss of one of its cultural giants. Alhaji Ismaila Dele Bello, popularly known as Ahuja Bello, passed away on Monday, August 25, 2025, at the age of 83. His son, Adetunji Bello, confirmed the sad news, revealing that the juju legend died peacefully in his sleep—just a day after celebrating his birthday. For many Nigerians, especially those who lived through the golden era of the 1970s and 1980s, the name Ahuja Bello evokes nostalgia. His music was the sound of celebration, a rhythm that echoed at weddings, naming ceremonies, and late-night parties. His passing is not only a personal loss for his family but also a cultural one for Nigeria’s rich musical heritage. Born on August 24, 1942, in Iseyin, Oyo State, Ahuja Bello was destined for music. Juju, a genre deeply rooted in Yoruba tradition, became the canvas on which he painted his artistry. Unlike many who treated music as a side hustle, Bello embraced it as a calling. By the mid-1970s, Bello had carved a niche for himself with his energetic stage performances, rich guitar work, and soulful lyrics. He was not just a performer; he was an experience. Fans adored his ability to connect with the crowd, blending traditional Yoruba rhythms with modern influences that kept his sound refreshing and timeless. Top 5 Most Visited Countries For Tourism Worldwide - JennySoul.com The 1970s and 1980s were a defining period for juju music, with legends like King Sunny Adé and Chief Ebenezer Obey dominating the scene. Yet, Ahuja Bello held his ground, building a loyal following that admired his originality and charisma. His concerts were more than entertainment—they were community gatherings. Every strum of his guitar carried messages of joy, resilience, and cultural pride. For many families, his songs became the soundtrack of their most memorable life events. One of the highlights of his career was his encounter with reggae icon Bob Marley during a trip to London. Though brief, this meeting symbolized the global relevance of Nigerian music long before the Afrobeats wave. Bello’s artistry showed that African sounds had the power to resonate beyond borders. Tragedy struck in 1982, when Ahuja Bello was involved in a serious accident. At the time, he was at the height of his career, commanding large crowds and dominating the juju scene. The accident slowed his performances and significantly altered his musical journey. For many musicians, such a setback might have marked the end. But Bello’s earlier contributions had already etched his name into Nigerian music history. Even though his stage appearances became limited, his influence continued. His recordings lived on, and his legacy inspired younger artists who admired his dedication to the craft. The death of Ahuja Bello is not just the passing of a man—it is the closing of a chapter in Nigeria’s musical story. His life represents an era when juju music carried social messages, celebrated culture, and served as a unifying force for communities. For older generations, Bello’s passing feels deeply personal. His music was woven into everyday life, from radio airwaves to live performances at social gatherings. For younger Nigerians, his story is a reminder of the roots of contemporary Nigerian music, proving that today’s Afrobeats giants stand on the shoulders of pioneers like him. As tributes pour in, fans, fellow musicians, and cultural associations describe Bello as a cultural custodian who never lost sight of his Yoruba identity. His songs celebrated resilience and tradition, ensuring that juju music remained relevant through the decades. Even in death, Bello’s music continues to breathe life into celebrations. His legacy shows that while people may pass, music remains immortal. Every strum of a juju guitar, every drumbeat at a Yoruba gathering, and every nostalgic radio replay will continue to carry Ahuja Bello’s spirit. The passing of Ahuja Bello at 83 is both a moment of mourning and a celebration of a life well lived. From Iseyin to international stages, from local dance halls to cultural milestones, Bello gave Nigerians more than music—he gave them memories. Though his journey was interrupted by tragedy, his impact remains unshaken. His career serves as a reminder that legacy is not measured by longevity alone but by the footprints left on culture. As Nigeria reflects on his contributions, one truth becomes clear: Ahuja Bello may have taken his final bow, but the music never ends. Rest in peace, Ahuja Bello. The juju lives on.
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