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5 Things To Consider Before You Get That Divorce

Jenny Soul by Jenny Soul
November 19, 2020
in Blog, Relationships
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5 Things To Consider Before You Get That Divorce
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before that divorceThe rate of divorce in Nigeria and all over the world increases by the minute, leaving others to wonder if there is any hope left in the institution of marriage. 

There are various reasons why legally married couples decide to call it to quit, ranging from infidelity to domestic violence,  criminal convictions, diseases, and what have you. Sometimes these issues become so complicated, even a third party would willingly advise that such a couple unties the knot. 

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Marriage is a neutral ground for tow lovers, or friends to find their balance and weather the storm together, however, issues arise that test the foundations of such marriages and there is an irreparable leak, the ship sinks, and both parties are left devastated. 

Perhaps, you are in such a mess, marital, and losing for the best opportunity to bail, or have already begun the process, there are certain things you should consider before making the final cut. 

  • Be Open: The moment you reach this stage of contemplation in your marriage is the moment you need to moderately open about your feelings and reactions. You owe this little aspect to your spouse, who might not be aware of where the shoe pinches in the marriage. 

If its an infidelity issues, you can attempt exhausting all your options if you still have the heart to remain in union with your partner. Initiate peace talks and let them know what exactly is being served on the table, and the resultant consequences of certain actions or inactions. Even if it still doesn’t work out, you will make your decision, knowing that you tried your best to save the day. 

  • Be aware of your spouse’s emotions: Marriage is a game of two fighters, who are naturally expected to be on the same team against the world. Just before you make that decision to step out of that situation through a divorce, try to consider the feelings of your spouse, regardless of where the hand of the law falls. 

At the end of the day, we are all humans with human nature, with an overriding capacity to err and hurt others around us. There are a lot of things you could discover, by merely taking out the tie to put your partner’s emotion in perspective.

getting a Divorce

  • Consider the kids: Sometimes this serves as the deal-breaker, and a motivation to making things work once again, except in difficult situations like domestic violence. Try putting yourself on the shoes of your kids, and if its truly worth it, only then should you proceed with the process. 

Most times, family dysfunction could cause traumatic experiences for children, especially those of younger ages, who might not totally grasp the concept of a divorce, or what it is all about. It could have a massive effect on childhood memories, and stating other psychological effects would be endless. If you have grown-ups, you might need to consider having a talk with them if you eventually decide to go through with it. 

Don’t leave in anger: Anger is a feeling that fuels irrational decisions, which most often times than not, are regretted by the individual. Fine, you have all the reasons in the world to divorce your partner, but one thing you should consider is never leaving in anger. If you leave in anger when the dust settles, you might eternally have yourself to blame for taking such steps, and the psychology around that is quite messy.

Be sure that you are clam enough when trying to decide, that way you can get clarity on whether or not you really want to go through the process of divorce. 

Be sure: You have nothing to loose if you keep asking yourself whether to not you are sure about this decision you are about to make. It is important that you are not dancing around your decision, and also not sitting on the fence in taking the right steps to the best of your knowledge. 

If possible, give it more time, and think through all the possibilities of all your options, putting in mind, your peace of mind and emotional well being. You have nothing to lose if you just wait it out, except in peculiar situations. 

A sure thing to consider 

Tags: DivorceMarriage

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Jenny Soul

Jenny Soul

Jenny Soul is a passionate relationships expert, dating counselor and sales coach. She is also a songwriter, performer and mum. When she is not writing, she engages in counselling sessions and motivational speeches to young people.

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Nigerian music industry is mourning the loss of one of its cultural giants. Alhaji Ismaila Dele Bello, popularly known as Ahuja Bello, passed away on Monday, August 25, 2025, at the age of 83. His son, Adetunji Bello, confirmed the sad news, revealing that the juju legend died peacefully in his sleep—just a day after celebrating his birthday. For many Nigerians, especially those who lived through the golden era of the 1970s and 1980s, the name Ahuja Bello evokes nostalgia. His music was the sound of celebration, a rhythm that echoed at weddings, naming ceremonies, and late-night parties. His passing is not only a personal loss for his family but also a cultural one for Nigeria’s rich musical heritage. Born on August 24, 1942, in Iseyin, Oyo State, Ahuja Bello was destined for music. Juju, a genre deeply rooted in Yoruba tradition, became the canvas on which he painted his artistry. Unlike many who treated music as a side hustle, Bello embraced it as a calling. By the mid-1970s, Bello had carved a niche for himself with his energetic stage performances, rich guitar work, and soulful lyrics. He was not just a performer; he was an experience. Fans adored his ability to connect with the crowd, blending traditional Yoruba rhythms with modern influences that kept his sound refreshing and timeless. Top 5 Most Visited Countries For Tourism Worldwide - JennySoul.com The 1970s and 1980s were a defining period for juju music, with legends like King Sunny Adé and Chief Ebenezer Obey dominating the scene. Yet, Ahuja Bello held his ground, building a loyal following that admired his originality and charisma. His concerts were more than entertainment—they were community gatherings. Every strum of his guitar carried messages of joy, resilience, and cultural pride. For many families, his songs became the soundtrack of their most memorable life events. One of the highlights of his career was his encounter with reggae icon Bob Marley during a trip to London. Though brief, this meeting symbolized the global relevance of Nigerian music long before the Afrobeats wave. Bello’s artistry showed that African sounds had the power to resonate beyond borders. Tragedy struck in 1982, when Ahuja Bello was involved in a serious accident. At the time, he was at the height of his career, commanding large crowds and dominating the juju scene. The accident slowed his performances and significantly altered his musical journey. For many musicians, such a setback might have marked the end. But Bello’s earlier contributions had already etched his name into Nigerian music history. Even though his stage appearances became limited, his influence continued. His recordings lived on, and his legacy inspired younger artists who admired his dedication to the craft. The death of Ahuja Bello is not just the passing of a man—it is the closing of a chapter in Nigeria’s musical story. His life represents an era when juju music carried social messages, celebrated culture, and served as a unifying force for communities. For older generations, Bello’s passing feels deeply personal. His music was woven into everyday life, from radio airwaves to live performances at social gatherings. For younger Nigerians, his story is a reminder of the roots of contemporary Nigerian music, proving that today’s Afrobeats giants stand on the shoulders of pioneers like him. As tributes pour in, fans, fellow musicians, and cultural associations describe Bello as a cultural custodian who never lost sight of his Yoruba identity. His songs celebrated resilience and tradition, ensuring that juju music remained relevant through the decades. Even in death, Bello’s music continues to breathe life into celebrations. His legacy shows that while people may pass, music remains immortal. Every strum of a juju guitar, every drumbeat at a Yoruba gathering, and every nostalgic radio replay will continue to carry Ahuja Bello’s spirit. The passing of Ahuja Bello at 83 is both a moment of mourning and a celebration of a life well lived. From Iseyin to international stages, from local dance halls to cultural milestones, Bello gave Nigerians more than music—he gave them memories. Though his journey was interrupted by tragedy, his impact remains unshaken. His career serves as a reminder that legacy is not measured by longevity alone but by the footprints left on culture. As Nigeria reflects on his contributions, one truth becomes clear: Ahuja Bello may have taken his final bow, but the music never ends. Rest in peace, Ahuja Bello. The juju lives on.
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