Relationship is now viewed based on what you can bring to the table, I mean financial and sexual contribution, if none of these can be brought then there is no value on the table, therefore the relationship cannot hold.
The three important considerations are:
Willingness to Develop self
1. Mental Relationship Compatibility
This is the first difference you should look out for. Most times, when people talk about mental compatibility, they describe it as relating to knowledge or how smart a person is, but no it isn’t about all that. Mental compatibility in relationship is the ability to accept, manage and be comfortable with the ideas of the other person without you feeling that your ideas are not good enough.
Sometimes, there are moments when you think that the I.Q of your partner is too high or too low for your own status, this is a normal thought and most persons experience this especially at the beginning of their affair when they are still trying to study each other’s thinking pattern.
In the end, it is important for you to feel comfortable about your own mental contribution so that you can also accept the other person’s mental contribution without being judgmental or insecure.
Mental compatibility also accepts growth in the physical and all round aspect of a person. Now, remaining in one place for a long time is a stagnant behavior which does not improve emotional comfort between couples in any relationship.
Well, I do not intend to leave you stagnant on this topic so I will provide some tips on how to develop mental compatibility.
Be comfortable with your own thoughts
Ask your partner every question you will like to ask him/her without holding back
Practice self-evaluation by asking your partner to honestly tell you ways you are not doing well in from his/her own perspective and observation of your character.
Attempt to understand or view issues from the perspective of your partner.
Be honest to your self.
The above tips will enhance your mental strength and even build trust to a greater length in your relationship.
Before entering into any relationship, look out for the nature of the person, some persons naturally have inner peace which reflects on the outside and in all they do.
Peace is an essential quality that does not require money or sex to get, it is a natural gift but sometimes most people lose theirs to the problems of life while some persons nurture theirs to meet up with the amount of problems in the society.
Imagine going through a work related issue at the work place and then not having peace in your relationship, as in, there is constant nagging, quarrel and disagreement in your relationship, you will feel scattered till you become shattered for real. Let us look at some qualities that can help one identify someone with inner peace.
Have you seen someone who is satisfied with his/her self? He/she does not complain, as in complain every minute till it becomes a noise to hear them. He/she does not complain over minor things or get angry at other people’s growth.
The person is just satisfied with the way things are going in his life and when things are not going the way he planned, he just takes deep breathe and start in a different direction without reporting or broadcasting to everyone around him that his life is not going the way he planned, such a person is a content soul!
Listen, you seriously do not want to get into a relationship with someone who is not contented with what he/she has and can afford, if you do, your peace will be threatened and once your peace is threatened you will not have focus or a sense of direction.
As little as this part of a person’s life may be, if less attention is given to it when you are choosing your partner, you might have issues in time to come. Peace is what brings out the sweetness and comfort in the relationship.
Does not argue unnecessarily:
Unnecessary argument drains the mind, it caused anger, headaches and worries. I strongly believe that you do not want to experience the wrong vibes in your relationship. A relationship is supposed to make you feel safe and happy at the same time.
If you already find yourself in a situation where you argue over unnecessary things such as sharing house chores and other minor duties, then the peace that exist in the relationship is poor. Usually, one person is always responsible for the absence of peace through unnecessary arguments.
For the purpose of sanity and smooth union, it will be proper for you to find someone who appreciates it when his/her wrong is being discussed for the purpose of correction.
Find someone who has purpose, boy or girl, do not settle for someone whose direction is not defined unless he/she is still trying to define his direction and you are seeing the efforts involved.
Purpose helps to keep one’s head above the water. And a person becomes more peaceful when his/her purpose is clearly defined. This little things will make a huge difference when you consider them as much as you consider good sex and financial stability in your partner.
3. WILLINGNESS TO DEVELOP SELF
Aside the usual first two considerations, you may want to consider someone who is willing to develop him/herself. Self development improves the quality of choice a person makes. Now, the ability to set personal goals, empowerment strategies and other personal desires without procrastinating when it is time to do them is what defined a willing person.
Someone like this is more willing to be committed in a relationship than someone who jumps on every available bus. Staying committed requires that a person should be willing at all costs.
So, find someone who is willing and ready to grow him/herself alongside you, even if your plan for the relationship is a short or long term one. You do not want to mingle with someone who drags you back due to their inability to develop themselves.
Do not allow yourself to be lost in the money and sex vibe, a man may have money, be excellent in bed but may not have these other qualities, likewise the woman and that is a problem because you need these three qualities to survive in an affair.