Falling in love is like having a new toy with lots of secret compartments to discover. Staying in love… well, that’s a different story. It is amazing how people are passionate during the early stages of their relationships and after a while, the fire goes off. If you really care about that relationship, then its hight time rekindled your love. The most common reason for this might be that one or both of you have stopped putting in the work necessary to keep the spark alive (this is no time to point fingers).
- Listen Attentively
When you went on the first few dates with your partner, you probably did not have your face buried in a cell phone. It is more likely that you paid close attention to him or her and acted in a manner that showed how much you truly cared about what they had to say. That loving attentiveness you once demonstrated and received can easily lessen as the years go by. Taking the time to intently listen to your partner can have a profoundly positive impact on closeness and connection.
If your partner initiates a conversation, whenever possible, stop what you are doing and make eye contact with this person you once adored. If the timing is not good for you, respectfully tell them, “I really want to hear what you have to say but I need a few minutes to (fill in the blank with your need) in order to be able to give you my full attention. Would that be okay?” Then be sure to keep your promise to return to the conversation and listen attentively.
- Fan the Fire
In this ever-busy world of ours, we often put our relationships on the back burner and forget to keep the spark of love alive. Getting caught up in our daily rituals and routines, we may miss the opportunity to shake things up romantically with the one we love (It doesn’t have to be two weeks in Seychelles). It could be a special date night or a spontaneous dance in the living room. The point is: keep the intimate connection alive.
Find things that you both enjoy doing and then take the time to do them together. Leave your smartphones behind and discover new adventures together. Place your phones in silent mode and play a board game or read a sexy book out loud. Give your partner an unsolicited massage, light some candles in the bedroom and play your favorite songs. Shake up your routine, be creative, be playful, be open and kind. Most importantly: be present. Look for opportunities to spark the fire. The possibilities are endless.
- Leverage on your differences
Having things in common with your partner is wonderful, but it’s also true that opposites attract. This principle is called the law of polarity. Think back to when you first met your partner. Things were easy between the two of you, and the physical chemistry proved your instant attraction. Remember and nurture your own natural energy and confidence; your partner was and is attracted to you in your natural state.
Your natural energy and your partner’s energy work together to create your relationship’s chemistry. When working together in a natural, balanced way, neither of you need to suppress your true self, and you can be happy together as you are.
- Get Physical and Intimate
If you find yourself being less physical with your partner to punish them or are avoiding sex for any reason, you need to address that immediately. Fixing a relationship is nearly impossible when one or both of you are not able to show physical affection.
Affectionate physical contact, whether sexual or not, gives you the natural high your body’s hormones produce and can help you get into the right frame of mind to rekindle love. Remember to touch your partner frequently as this will help you to redevelop closeness and intimacy. Give the one you love a reassuring caress, a hug or just a squeeze of the hand that says, “I’m still here and I’m not going anywhere.” These small moments can mean a lot to your partner when you’re trying to fix a relationship.
- Use Your Words
As much as physical touch and thoughtfulness are keys to a relationship, so are your words. Your words have incredible power and those who are looking for how to rekindle a relationship sometimes don’t realize that the words they’ve been using with their partner are harming them. You must learn to communicate effectively with your partner in order to rekindle the fire in the relationship.
Show empathy and use heartfelt words when communicating with your partner at any time even while resolving conflicts. Remember to say things like “I love you,” “Thank you” and “I miss you.” When said with genuine emotion, these little things make tough times easier between you and your partner and ignites the spark. Try to speak with love and compassion and avoid blame at all costs. When the two of you are arguing, don’t say anything in the heat of the moment that you’ll regret later.
- Be Curious
When you started dating your partner, one lightening spark was that you were intensely curious about them. You wanted to know what they were thinking and feeling at all times. You asked questions about their past and their future dreams. Do you still act in this manner? If not, it could be a big reason why you are now in the position of learning how to rekindle love.
Curiosity about your partner involves asking questions and practicing deep listening when they answer. It goes beyond asking how their day went or what they’d like for dinner.
- Care for yourself
When you’re in a relationship for so long, it can be hard to remember where your partner ends and you begin. Unfortunately, that’s a sure way to suck the oxygen out of the fire. It’s difficult to feel attracted to someone who has lost their autonomy and individual identity. Rekindling the passion in your relationship by fuelling yourself first: Find a hobby, set some job goals, or health or body goals. Not only will having individual interests give you something to talk about, but when you’re happy with yourself, you set the standard on how others love you.
Is it possible to rekindle the spark that originally brought you and your partner together? Try some of these tips, and see what happens!