In the world we live in, it has become a norm for individuals of the opposite gender to flirt. Whether in a relationship or not, everyone wants to experience that feeling of being wanted, and this could lead to serious complications in the long run, most especially if it involves someone in a serious relationship.
The reason most people bank on could be the thrill of meeting someone new and trying to mark territory, or simply the ego boost it offers, regardless, if things are not properly handled, they could fall out of hand.
Flirting, unlike every other display, has no meaningful end, this is not to say that it hasn’t led to meaningful relationships, it simply means that at inception and initiation of such based contacts, it is never to geared towards a serious cause.
Single people might argue that the only they can put themselves out there is by flirting. This is entirely far from the truth. You dint have to flirt to let someone know you are interested, though it might work in the short run, consider the long term damages that might be wrought.
One Step At A Time
Sometimes, love happens in funny and amazing ways. You would agree that sometimes, our intentions aren’t exactly the result, but nevertheless, they are just as pleasant as we thought them to be. Falling in love or getting into a relationship is not something that you should begin to consider as a recruitment process. It is much more intense and requires stability and focus.
The foundation you lay for your relationship determines how good or bad things are played, and the result places a demand on your emotional build. Before you begin to flirt with that new guy or new girl, ask yourself; ‘Are my ready for what is to come?’ If you can genuinely answer that question and be truthful to yourself, then you would know whether or not to proceed with what you were about to do.
If you like someone, but they are not showing interest in you, even in the least manner, you could give clues without necessarily flirting. The truth is, as humans, it is easy to perceive when someone likes you, hence if the person is proving difficult or can’t come to terms with the way you feel about them, it’s best you let them go, you wouldn’t want to hurt yourself further, or better still do so and end up blaming them, when it was all your fault in the first place.
Meanwhile, as you show you are emotionally available for a relationship, ensure that you are not entirely going out of your way to prove to this person. Take yourself to the centre, and wait for them to meet you halfway, that way, you are able to still keep your emotions in check.
Eggs In A Basket
Remember the idiom that says don’t put all your eggs in one basket? Well, while this is not saying you should the exact when it comes to relationship, you need to be sure that you are not shortchanging yourself by scattering all your eggs around the yard.
The most important question you should ask yourself is ‘Can I handle this?’ Everyone is different, so also the situations we can and cannot handle. Just because your friend scattered all her eggs and eventually found a great basket to leave a large chink doesn’t mean you would do the same and it would work for you. You need to know yourself before you embark on a journey to get to know someone else.
What happens if you try your luck with different people and they all come back loving you. What do you do? You enter another level of difficulty, trying to figure out who you should really say yes, and to be honest, you don’t need that kind of stress, relationships are not medical surgeries that you need to invest the entirety of your being to. You need to take things slow to get the best out of any relationship.
To Be Or Not To Be?
It’s perfectly fine if two people come together and decide that all they want to do is flirt, but what is bad is when it’s a one-sided activity. Heartbreak is not something people willingly want to go through, so save that person the stress of having to go it, in the first place by being open and sincere about your intentions. The worst that could happen would be that you might be rejected, but what a little period of rejection compared to a lifetime of heartbreak?
So, the next time your mind urges you to start flirting with that new guy or girl, get into a serious conversation with yourself and don’t play mind games. *Wink*
Jenny Soul is a passionate relationships expert, dating counselor and sales coach. She is also a songwriter, performer and mum. When she is not writing, she engages in counselling sessions and motivational speeches to young people.