A Kenyan woman, Fiona Wageci, has sparked debate online after advising men to marry only virgins or women who have had just one sexual partner.
Wageci shared the advice in a Facebook post on Saturday, October 17, arguing that men should carefully consider a woman’s sexual history, character and values before choosing a life partner.
According to her, some women spend their younger years partying, engaging in casual relationships and having multiple sexual partners before deciding to settle down and seek marriage in their 30s.
She argued that such women may later expect loyalty, respect and a wedding ring from a man after having had several relationships before meeting him.
In her post, Wageci questioned why a man should commit to a woman when, in her view, other men had previously enjoyed relationships with her without making a similar commitment.
“Can I tell you another reason why you MUST marry a VIRGIN? A lady will sleep with six different men before praying for a husband. Five years of partying, three years of casual dating and hook-ups. Then at 30, she suddenly becomes serious and wants loyalty, respect and a ring. That is where you enter the chat,” she wrote.
Woman Questions Women’s Past Relationships
Wageci further claimed that some women change their lifestyles when they begin looking for marriage, becoming more religious, dressing elegantly and presenting themselves as suitable partners.
She argued that men should not rely solely on appearances when deciding whom to marry.
“By this time, she has gained experience, learned what men want, and understands how to present herself. She becomes prayerful, dresses elegantly, and joins the church. Now she wants you to pay full price, for what six others got for free,” she added.
Her comments suggest that she believes men should consider whether a potential partner’s lifestyle and values are consistent over time rather than making decisions based only on how a woman presents herself.
However, her description of women with previous sexual partners as less valuable is a personal judgment, not an established fact about their ability to love, remain faithful or maintain a successful marriage.
Claims About Marriage and Emotional Availability
The Kenyan woman also alleged that men who marry women with multiple previous sexual partners could encounter emotional difficulties in their relationships.
According to Wageci, some women may struggle to form emotional connections with their husbands, demonstrate submission or show respect because of comparisons with former partners.
“My guy, you then marry her, only to get home and discover that she is emotionally unavailable, struggles to bond with you, is not submissive, and does not respect you because, in her eyes, you cannot satisfy her the way her exes did,” she wrote.
She also used the Swahili phrase “Si unaona uko na kibarua?” to suggest that the man could find himself facing a difficult task or challenge.
Wageci warned men against trusting a woman simply because she appears innocent, speaks softly, dresses modestly or presents herself as the ideal partner.
Instead, she urged them to pay attention to character, values, honesty and consistency.
Advises Men to Verify Sexual History
Concluding her post, Wageci called on men to verify a prospective wife’s sexual history before proceeding with marriage.
“Above all, VERIFY and proofread that she is either a VIRGIN or doesn’t have a body count of more than ONE,” she wrote.
Her remarks have drawn attention to differing expectations about sexual history, commitment and gender roles in relationships.
While some people may share her preference for a partner with little or no sexual experience, others argue that a person’s past does not automatically determine their capacity for loyalty, emotional intimacy or commitment.
Relationship decisions can involve personal beliefs, religious convictions and individual expectations. However, a successful marriage also depends on factors such as mutual respect, honesty, communication, shared values and the willingness of both partners to work through challenges.
Wageci’s post has therefore raised broader questions about whether sexual history should be a deciding factor in marriage and how couples can assess compatibility without relying solely on assumptions about a partner’s past.
Linda Ikeji’s Blog — Reports her Facebook post and the comments that sparked debate.
