The truth is that nobody’s relationship is perfect, there is always something wrong somewhere but what matters is your ability to identify what that mess is and fix it, but if you cannot identify what the problem might be, then you are enjoying a messy relationship that is prone to ending any moment.
No one asked for a life filled with different types of relationships and perceptions, the difference is the thrill in life- the complications are what makes it intriguing, only be careful so you don’t end up alone or unhappy.
Sometimes what we deem to be the problem in our relationship may not be as major as we magnify it in our mind, it might just be something you need to talk about and it will be over, but what makes a problem to linger in relationship are:
- Previous pain; learn to let go of your previous pain, it will be very difficult but if you want to move on in a new relationship then you have to let go of your previous pain.
You might think you have seen it all and that your heart cannot carry another weight but the truth is that your heart is elastic and can carry on another love weight.
So, in this new relationship that you are into, you have to open up and let love sweep you off your feet again. It is alright to be broken but you have to move, don’t be a mess
- Also lack of proper explanation of thoughts and desires. Explaining how you feel and what you want helps the other person to understand you more. If the relationship is over and you still feel the need to explain yourself, go ahead and do that, but afterwards, walk away properly.
Loving someone is easy but forcing that love to come to an end is not always easy, it is messy, but if you find yourself in a situation where you are unable to get over the feelings, then you are love-trapped. That is a whole new level of brokenness, nobody can help you except yourself. The reason is because your heart is determined to be in a particular place and no amount of talks from other people will help it except you make the decision to move on and act accordingly.
Steps on how to get over a broken Relationship
- Be honest with yourself; telling yourself the truth will help you get over the pain.
- Do not linger on the wrong thoughts; sometimes your mind may travel back to memory lane of how beautiful your relationship was, but you quickly snap out of it because it will only make you sad.
- Give him/her some space; give him/her space to breathe, allow them to realize your worth by themselves, they might just come back begging but do not hope on that either, just move on to achieving greater things.
- Be concerned more about yourself growth; your new habit should be about yourself, practice ways to grow yourself, engage in exercises to help your mind and body.
- Let your thoughts be in short terms; do not think of two years from now, instead think of what you can achieve today.
If you understand the steps properly, be sure to practice them and they will help you. Now let’s move on to something else.
Things not to do after a breakup
Most tines after breakup, we end up acting stupid and making worst decisions that do not add any value to our lives.
- Do not hate yourself; most times if the fault of the breakup is from you, you will be tempted to hate yourself, you will feel so helpless you might think that you are not fit to love again. You might do all you can to win back the relationship but if the other person is gone then you have to go as well, but you don’t have to hate yourself because we all make mistakes and you have made yours, that makes you a human not a heartless person.
- Do close the door; yes you had a relationship and it ended, that doesn’t mean the world has ended, it is only a part of something you built that collapsed not your entire life, so be open to other love opportunities that are knocking on your door, have friends, smile and laugh with people whom you enjoy their company and who also enjoys your company.
- Do not be over ambitious; most times we channel all the anger into growth, then forget to relate with others, we forget to try love again and then we become lost as to how to relate with people who are romantically or sexually interested in us. While pursuing self growth, also accept to love again when it comes knocking on your door.
- Do not take drastic decisions; it is so tempting to make drastic decisions at this point because it feels like the right thing to do, the energy from within is always too strong especially towards decision making, it feels like you have known a lot and the next decision in your head is the right one.
- Cut the communication; small talks with your ex will keep you entangled, there is nothing like “we are just friends” if there was true love, then there will always be lingering hopes. That should not be the case, if it is over then let it be over, do not keep communicating.
- Do not degrade yourself by begging for so long. If the mistake was yours, go on and apologize, afterwards move on. Everyone wants someone of value, add some value to yourself, do not beg like you have no other purpose than to beg. It is alright to be vulnerable and cry while apologizing but do not stay in that state for so long. Move on.
- Do not use social media as a consolation vendor; the voices of pity on social media may sound suiting for your heart, but don’t be tempted, do not share your relationship issues on social media, there are too many perceptions there and you might end up being confused and even more sad.
It is alright if you feel broken by love but it is dangerous when you decide to remain broken, it is messy! You have to move and be happy, there are many people on earth and if you are kind and nice someone else will love you even more than you were loved.
Do not die yet, there are so many things you can achieve with the new knowledge you found.
Read also; The type of women men never date.
