Communication is key in a relationship, it does a lot from helping you understand your partner to helping you understand yourself. In fact, the functioning of the relationship is reliant on how well you both communicate.
But sometimes communication becomes difficult especially when there’s a mistake from one person, it becomes uptight to freely talk and say what is needed.
Most times what causes this uprightness in communication is not really supposed to cause it if only it was said on time, but we try to hide the issue or protect our loved ones as we will want to call it. In the bid to keep protecting your loved one from hearing about a particular thing, it makes communication difficult and uneasiness sets in. I’m here to help you out by giving you tips on how to make communication easy.
- First tip is, don’t claim right. Forget trying to be right, if you claim that you are right it will cause difficulty in communication. So, before you start talking to your partner about the issue, zero your mind on how right you are, don’t claim right.
- Start the conversion with the positive side of the talk, do not start by being negative and hoping to drag pity from your partner, rather stay positive and maintain a good choice of language, no insult I mean.
- Know the right time to bring up the issue. Timing is very important, knowing when your partner is in the right state of mind and environment to talk about issues. Do not start a personal conversation in the midst of a crowd, he/she may not feel comfortable with it and that may cause unease in the communication.
- Do not argue even if you don’t agree with what he/she is saying. Instead take some time off and reflect on it. Just listen, you may see things from his/her perspective if you listen well and you might realize that you were wrong. Do not interrupt, it makes the communication more humanly- only humans with understanding can talk about issues and settle it through words.
- Have the right attitude, it may sound too much but your attitude when communicating with your partner either encourages him/her to listen or not. Intentionally cultivate the right kind of attitude, do not shout, roll your eyes or make unnecessary snaps with your fingers when communicating with your partner.
- Ask questions. At some point, ask questions so that your partner can feel involved in the talk, asking questions makes it feel like the communication is actually taking place between two persons but when only one person is talking all throughout the process it makes it feel like one person was giving instruction to the other and that does not make communication easier.
- Avoid emotional outburst. DO not turn into a pool of tears because you want to communicate or buy sympathy from your partner, it makes communication difficult. Seeing you cry will not allow the other person to fully express their thoughts because tears have a way of distracting the mind. If you want to communicate effectively with your partner, then, do not let your emotion ruin it.
- Be direct in your explanation, it helps your partner to focus on you and the point you are leading them to. Do not beat around the bush or go explaining a long history, instead pick points and straighten your thoughts. By doing so you make communication smooth and understandable for your partner.
- Compliment him/her. You must learn to acknowledge your partner’s ability to explain his/her thoughts to your understanding. At his end of his/her talk, learn to say nice things like “I understand you”, ” you were right about this”, “you made a good point when you said…” Compliments have a way of relaxing the atmosphere, it calms the nerves and makes the listener interested in what you have to say.
Sometimes we experience a glitch in communication between lovers because talking about issues that are important to both parties in the relationship is not properly done. It isn’t because they are not having regular conversation but because proper understanding is not there due to ineffective communication techniques – not knowing how to communicate an idea to the understanding of the other.
You must always understand that your partner came from a different background and has different perception of things and situations, so understanding when, where and how to communicate with him/her will help improve the lifespan of the relationship and may even build stronger bonds to resist intrusions.
Relationship intruders are people, events or situations that tend to disturb the peace and lifespan of a relationship, such intrusion may include;
Public Opinion: you don’t need the public’s opinion in order to communicate with your partner, do not invite other people in especially when you can settle matters by yourselves.
- Resistance from Work: your workload can push you to the point of losing touch with how to communicate or how easy it feels to communicate with your partner, do not buy in, resist the pressure from work and retain your communication skills with your partner, do not use the none-logical side of your when talking with your partner, instead know.
- Mental Stress; sometimes you get so stressed out and forget to start an easy communication with your partner, in fact an issue that is not supposed to be big may become very big in your mind because your mind is stressed and not in a good state to communicate effectively.
- Discontentment: be contented with how you and your partner have agreed about a particular issue, if peradventure you found a new way, do let him/her know.
- Lack of trust; not trusting your partner is a loophole to inviting other intruders. Trust in the nature and idea of your partner, because if you don’t trust him/her then you will end up trusting another person’s own. Somehow, trust must be activated.
In order for you to enjoy a smooth and healthy relationship, you must be protective of your relationship, how do you do that? By learning to communicate effectively about necessary things in your relationship, this will help you overcome relationship intruders and enhances easy communication.
