No one gets it a hundred percent right in Marriage. There are bound to be mistakes along the line. Sometimes, these mistakes cause damage and leave you blaming yourself for not getting it right from the onset. What if you stand a chance of avoiding these mistakes before they come? This article will point out 4 mistakes women make in Marriage. This way, you can avoid them and get it right!
- Pretense
- Comparison
- Snooping
- Silence
Pretense
This first point reflects back to the dating stage. Some women get into marriages not being who they really are and over the years it becomes a struggle sustaining that part of their personality which was a lie. Building a relationship on pretense is very dangerous. It can make you end up with an incompatible partner.
One can pretend to:
- like a particular genre of movie, music, or books
- enjoy a certain hobby which she doesn’t.
- Love a sport which she actually hates just to please her spouse
- Be happy even when she feels so offended
- Love a particular kind of food when she actually doesn’t.
Not to get it all wrong, however, it is good to adjust to certain things in order to build compatibility and make your relationship work. No man and woman share exactly the same traits and preferences, therefore, in the long run, there needs to be an adjustment from both parties.
The problem, however, lies where the man has no idea that you don’t like a particular thing or lifestyle all because you’ve made him feel otherwise. Let your spouse know the things you love genuinely. This way, when you adjust to their likes and hobbies, they appreciate it even more. Ask yourself these questions: does my spouse know what I love doing best? Does he know my favorite food, sports, and movie? Can he tell if I am comfortable with something or not? If your answer is no to any of these questions, click here to learn how to be yourself in Marriage.
Comparison
This may sound a bit too hard but it is the best method of emphasis I can think of. On this note, I’ll say to us ladies: DO NOT, DON’T, NEVER compare your spouse to another man. It would not get the problem solved. Rather, it will multiply it. Men hate comparison-everyone does. It bruises their ego. Moreover, the person you compare your spouse too has his own imperfections, which could be something you cannot manage either.
In other words, nobody is perfect. There is no perfect man, and you ain’t a perfect wife either. Know this and opt for better ways to correct your man. Understand marriage to be a learning process. Discuss your spouse’s faults subtly. Make him understand those faults that affect your relationship and make you unhappy. Let him know that regardless of this flaw, you’re ready to stand by him and patiently work on him till there’s a change. Just don’t compare. Learn more about the dangers of comparison here.
Snooping
The act of snooping is wrong from every perspective. It is an infringement on one’s es privacy and no one likes that. In marriage, most women are known for snooping through their spouse’s phones and other personal belongings. This communicates a lack of trust, which is very essential in a marriage. When you snoop, you discover things you may not like and give them your own meaning thereby, springing up an issue where there is none. This goes further to destroy your relationship. Rather than snoop, build a unique relationship with your spouse where trust is paramount. When two partners love and trust each other, you do not need to sneak around their belongings because they will comfortably let you have them. If you have worries, throw it open for discussion and trash it out rather than snoop around to dig for information that will only enhance the feeling.
Silence
To avoid a misconception of this point, it will be explored from two perspectives. Both are harmful in mistakes in marriages.
Silence as endurance
There is a thin line between endurance and silence. Endurance is when you manage marital challenges while working on them and hoping for a change. Silence on the other hand is when something is going really wrong and you feel forced to keep mute. For example, a woman in a violent marriage may decide not to say anything because of the fear of what people would say. This is silence. Do not keep silent over issues beyond your control. Speak to someone!
Silence as Passivity
Most women are naturally passive while some become passive in marriage. Whether natural or imposed, silence is dangerous. You should be expressive. Unfortunately, most women interpret silence as submission and respect to their spouses. This is wrong. It is very discomforting to live with a partner who barely flows in a conversation. Discuss, debate, argue over issues with your spouse. All of these things add to the spice.
Passive silence can also be influenced by unforgiveness. A woman’s silence may be influenced by the feeling of hurt over something her spouse must have said or done. Learn to forgive and stay happy.
Note: there is a positive side to silence. When you are overwhelmed with anger or in the heat of a quarrel, silence is golden. Speak when the heat is calm.
Conclusion
Marriage is a beautiful experience. Do not let circumstances convince you otherwise. If your actions are beginning to destroy your marriage, click here to get it fixed again. Wishing you lots of love.
