There is no doubt that most single people want to get married someday. The goal of most people in a long time relationship is to one day walk down the aisle and tie the knot.
Away from all the parties and vows, marriage is very complex. Living together for the rest of your life with another person who has a different background is not a walk in the park. There are so many things married people wish they had known before saying those vows. If your goal is to have a long healthy marriage with your spouse then this post is for you as it talks relationship advice for singles that are looking to get married.
As a single person, you can make decisions about your life without considering anyone else. Once you get married, this will be impossible. You will have to put your new family into consideration and how your choices could affect them. The decision to get married is one of the most important decisions you will ever make in life. So, you need to understand what marriage really is aside from the glitz and glamour.
A healthy marriage is a commitment that requires work for it to last.
Relationship advice for singles looking to get married
Some of the best pieces of relationship advice you can ever listen to is definitely from married people, those who have once been married, and marriage counselors. They are the ones who can tell you the real business of marriage and what you are in for.
Below are some pieces of advice you need before taking the monumental decision to getting married.
Communication before commitment
The most important foundation in every relationship is communication. If you are a single looking forward to getting married, you need to establish a channel of communication between you and your intending spouse. You need to have an honest conversation together about your future expectations. It is important to be as honest as possible to avoid any sort of resentment once you get married. If you feel you cannot cope together then, there is no reason to take that step.
Talk about how many children you want to have, where you want to live, your careers, and so on. If what you want does not align then, it’s better to go your way before you go into a regrettable marriage. Getting married will not fix the problems you had when you were single. Also, remember that your partner cannot read your mind. Therefore, do not hide anything from spouse to be. Have an open heart to heart communication.
Communication does nothing if one partner is not listening to the other. When you talk about your expectations, make sure you do away with distractions and listen attentively. Do not ignore whatever your intending spouse is saying. Listen carefully and assimilate it to decide if it is what you can deal with. There are no couples without differences. However, you need to make sure that your differences are things you can live with. Listen to each other and make compromise if you think you can.
Marriage is not about one person but two people coming to stay together. One piece of advice you should hold on to as a single looking to get married is to stop thinking of “I” and start thinking of “We”. The moment you get married, every decision you make affects both of you. Therefore, you need to start considering the feelings of your partner before you make certain decisions. You will have to communicate and decide on what to do together. Marriage is not for selfish people. Always speak to your partner and decide together.
If you want a healthy marriage with a solid foundation, you need to have a sense of mutual respect. If one of you lacks this, the marriage may not survive. Do not belittle your partner or look down on them. There is no reason to make a commitment to a man or woman you do not respect.
Know your strengths and weaknesses
Everybody is unique. As a single person who is looking to get married, you need to know your partner’s weaknesses and strengths. Once you do this, you will be able to know how you can work together to lift each other up. Nobody is perfect. Avoid doing things you know your partner does not like in order to prevent dispute. Talk about your strengths and weaknesses before going into marriage.
It is unrealistic to enter marriage thinking that everyday will be filled with love and roses. Even the most perfect couple disagrees. Expecting too much from your partner is unfair. You need to admit your mistakes and try to fix them as quick as possible. Apologize when you have to; don’t let ego destroy your relationship.
It is true that money is not everything but the truth is it also matters so much, especially in a relationship. You need to talk to your partner about finances and how it can be managed effectively. What type of account will you have together when married? Will you want to run a joint account or not? These are some of the things you need to discuss. Do not make any assumption for your intending spouse. Always share discussions regarding money with your spouse to be.
Love and Trust
No marriage will work without these two. You need to love your partner as yourself. Don’t walk in blindly if you know the feeling is not mutual. Discuss what will happen if either of you breaks the trust between you. I know it looks like everyday will be filled with love but that is unrealistic.
Don’t give up
Most importantly, the last advice for singles looking to get married is to not give up easily. Divorce is not as easy as it appears. It is okay to make your marriage work. Seek help from marriage professionals if you feel like you cannot solve the problem on your own.
This post mentioned some pieces of advice to singles that are looking to get married. Even though marriage looks exciting and easy from the outside, it’s important to know that it is a complex thing. Marriage is a huge commitment. You need to be certain and fully ready for it. If it seems like your partner is rushing you might need to step back and have a rethink when necessary.