Many relationships get to a point where one party begins to feel doubts. Now sometimes, these doubts turn out to be instigated by factors that can be overlooked or worked on while other times they could be huge red flags signaling future dangers you’d have to deal with for the rest of your life if you continue. The choice of sustaining or leaving the relationship is a difficult decision to take for many people. This article, therefore, helps in guiding someone out there on his/her decision to break up or makeup.
Understanding the terms
As common as the terms are, it is still important to distinguish both. Break up means to put an end to a relationship while Makeup means settling your differences, and making it work. It is more common to make up than break up because when one is in love, they find it hard to let go therefore, they put in the extra effort to make it work. A break up on the other hand is a difficult decision to take. For every broken relationship, there must have been series of make-ups. A relationship like this, however, gets to a point where it cannot be mended anymore. Relating this to an object. You will agree that the more damages it attains, the weaker it becomes till a day when it cannot hold anymore.
When should I Make up?
Humans are imperfect beings. In other words, they are prone to make mistakes and fall short in some aspects of their lives. Therefore, it is also advised that one does not get into a relationship having perfection in mind. There will always be a shortcoming in your partner and that is what makes them human on one hand. On another hand, I would say that these shortcomings are part of the reasons fate brought you into their lives. A relationship partner is a raw material that needs to be refined. If you understand this then you will understand the need to make up when little faults and challenges begin to crop up. Before a couple makes up, some faults may have been identified, apologies rendered and promises to improve on that fault made. This kick starts the refining process. Now one may ask, what faults can be worked on?
Faults that Requires a Makeup
There are so many faults people exhibit in relationships. While some can be managed, some cannot. Humans differ in personality, therefore, the list of manageable faults I’ll be given below, may not apply to all
Put in other words, an insecure partner is a jealous one. While this can be a major problem in some relationships, it is minor in others. It all depends on the degree of insecurity your partner has and how it negatively affects the relationship. To deal with insecurity, both partners need to learn trust.
Some partners are so self-centered and this can be very offensive for the other party. Selfishness is however a behavior that can be worked upon. If you have a selfish partner who loves you, draw their attention to this fault and help them see ways they can overcome it.
As casual as it sounds, having a forgetful partner is so frustrating. They never make a promise and keep to it because they forget. When this pattern keeps repeating itself, it can destroy a beautiful relationship. You can, however, help your partner remember their promises by constantly reminding them with calm. This way they learn to overcome their faults.
While this may not be a big deal for some, it could be for others, especially ‘neat freaks’. Some people love seeing everything in place. If such a person, therefore, has a partner who is quite disorganized and doesn’t care about putting things in their proper place, then there’s a big problem. This can cause frequent quarrels and this is not healthy for relationships. Disorganization can however be worked on. One partner either teaches the other or takes up the responsibility of always putting things back in their proper place.
These characteristics are easier to manage while being worked on with patience.
When Should I Break Up?
While some faults can be managed in relationships, others are bold red flags pointing you out of the relationship. Some of these faults include:
- Verbal abuse
These traits pointed out can affect one’s sanity. They are difficult to manage. They are not mere character shortfalls but personal faults that must be worked on. I would never advise anyone to proceed into getting married to a violent, abusive, or narcissistic partner. They most times get worse in Marriage. I can only advise you to stay friends with them and help them work on themselves. This way, they can get into a relationship being a better person.
Disregard on another hand may not fall into the category of violence or verbal abuse, but it has a strong influence on a person. Disregard kills self-esteem and hurts deeply. It erupts sad emotions that can over time influence one’s perception of themselves. Your partner should hold you in high esteem, see you as one that matters, pay attention to your ideas and seek your opinion in making decisions. This way, you feel safe and involved.
In the end, the decision to break up or makeup remains yours to make. Consider your emotional capabilities and gauge faults you can manage. However, do not be too quick to break up or makeup. Rather, be observant; pay attention to details, and carefully decide on the best option for you.