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3 Reasons You Shouldn’t Have A Back Up Partner

Jenny Soul by Jenny Soul
May 7, 2020
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3 Reasons You Shouldn’t Have A Back Up Partner
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Having a backup partnerRelationships come with a lot of perks. However, there are quite a number of perceptions about what a good relationship should look like or what should happen in one. 

One such perception is having a backup partner just in case something happens in your current relationship. While some might argue to the ends of the earth that this is the best thing to do, over time, it has shown the results and after effect of this act remains the same. 

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You may not want to give it up, simply because you have proof of its positive result, however, along the line, there are certain effects it has on your emotions, and in the long run, it might lead you to act irrationally if care is not taken. There are a lot of reasons, why you should share this school of thought, however, here are 3 that absolutely stand out.

  •  Lack of commitment: If you feel this way, then its absolutely normal. Naturally, when human beings are aware of the many options they are presented, they begin to put in less commitment to whatever they have been found doing, and the same applies to relationships. The moment you are aware that you have other options, or rather ‘a back up’ partner, you lose all sense of commitment in your current relationship, because for you it is NOT all or nothing. 

When this happens, little misunderstandings that should be settled swiftly, begin to prolonged, and eventually might lead to a breakup. There is no end to many bad possibilities that could arise from being in your relationship half-heartedly. You may find yourself investing in other relationships, which might turn out not to be healthy for you, all in the name of trying to a grip of yourself, or trying to feel good about how ‘wanted’ you are. This is totally uncalled for and it is important to get rid of other side affairs, in order to fully focus on the mountain you have ahead of you. Backup partners

  • Emotional Instability: When you have a backup partner, believe it or not, you become emotionally unstable. Your feelings begin to change per time spent in the arms of other people other than your current partner, or as you may put it your ‘back up’ partner. This builds room for quite a number of insecurities in your relationship, and ultimately, you might find yourself cheating on your partner. 

At this moment, all you want is your partner and the next thing you want someone else. Along the line, you will begin to compare qualities, and eventually give yourself reasons why you deserve better than what you are currently being given in your relationship. This is not healthy for any romantic relationship. It stifles growth, and breeds toxic characters which could destroy any relationship no matter how strong. 

  • Heartbreak: Whether you like it or not, when you begin to keep back-up partners, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. This would lead to the constant thought of it, and eventually, you are subconsciously warmed up for when it happens, and if this is kept up even in the next relationship, then the cycle becomes unbreakable, and you find out that you can never really fully settle down in one relationship. 

This is when great friendships come in handy. If you think you might get vulnerable immediately after a break-up, then talk to your friend about and let them know that you are banking on them to keep you in check just in case this happens. It is also equally as important to keep an open and optimistic mind when it comes to relationships. 

There are no two relationships, that are exactly the same. You would also agree that you cannot fully duplicate your past experience onto the present, somethings will definitely be altered. With this mindset, open yourself to all the experiences you are set to encounter in your current relationship, and take them as they come whether good or bad, besides, no one ever said it was going to be easy.

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Jenny Soul

Jenny Soul

Jenny Soul is a passionate relationships expert, dating counselor and sales coach. She is also a songwriter, performer and mum. When she is not writing, she engages in counselling sessions and motivational speeches to young people.

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Nigerian music industry is mourning the loss of one of its cultural giants. Alhaji Ismaila Dele Bello, popularly known as Ahuja Bello, passed away on Monday, August 25, 2025, at the age of 83. His son, Adetunji Bello, confirmed the sad news, revealing that the juju legend died peacefully in his sleep—just a day after celebrating his birthday. For many Nigerians, especially those who lived through the golden era of the 1970s and 1980s, the name Ahuja Bello evokes nostalgia. His music was the sound of celebration, a rhythm that echoed at weddings, naming ceremonies, and late-night parties. His passing is not only a personal loss for his family but also a cultural one for Nigeria’s rich musical heritage. Born on August 24, 1942, in Iseyin, Oyo State, Ahuja Bello was destined for music. Juju, a genre deeply rooted in Yoruba tradition, became the canvas on which he painted his artistry. Unlike many who treated music as a side hustle, Bello embraced it as a calling. By the mid-1970s, Bello had carved a niche for himself with his energetic stage performances, rich guitar work, and soulful lyrics. He was not just a performer; he was an experience. Fans adored his ability to connect with the crowd, blending traditional Yoruba rhythms with modern influences that kept his sound refreshing and timeless. Top 5 Most Visited Countries For Tourism Worldwide - JennySoul.com The 1970s and 1980s were a defining period for juju music, with legends like King Sunny Adé and Chief Ebenezer Obey dominating the scene. Yet, Ahuja Bello held his ground, building a loyal following that admired his originality and charisma. His concerts were more than entertainment—they were community gatherings. Every strum of his guitar carried messages of joy, resilience, and cultural pride. For many families, his songs became the soundtrack of their most memorable life events. One of the highlights of his career was his encounter with reggae icon Bob Marley during a trip to London. Though brief, this meeting symbolized the global relevance of Nigerian music long before the Afrobeats wave. Bello’s artistry showed that African sounds had the power to resonate beyond borders. Tragedy struck in 1982, when Ahuja Bello was involved in a serious accident. At the time, he was at the height of his career, commanding large crowds and dominating the juju scene. The accident slowed his performances and significantly altered his musical journey. For many musicians, such a setback might have marked the end. But Bello’s earlier contributions had already etched his name into Nigerian music history. Even though his stage appearances became limited, his influence continued. His recordings lived on, and his legacy inspired younger artists who admired his dedication to the craft. The death of Ahuja Bello is not just the passing of a man—it is the closing of a chapter in Nigeria’s musical story. His life represents an era when juju music carried social messages, celebrated culture, and served as a unifying force for communities. For older generations, Bello’s passing feels deeply personal. His music was woven into everyday life, from radio airwaves to live performances at social gatherings. For younger Nigerians, his story is a reminder of the roots of contemporary Nigerian music, proving that today’s Afrobeats giants stand on the shoulders of pioneers like him. As tributes pour in, fans, fellow musicians, and cultural associations describe Bello as a cultural custodian who never lost sight of his Yoruba identity. His songs celebrated resilience and tradition, ensuring that juju music remained relevant through the decades. Even in death, Bello’s music continues to breathe life into celebrations. His legacy shows that while people may pass, music remains immortal. Every strum of a juju guitar, every drumbeat at a Yoruba gathering, and every nostalgic radio replay will continue to carry Ahuja Bello’s spirit. The passing of Ahuja Bello at 83 is both a moment of mourning and a celebration of a life well lived. From Iseyin to international stages, from local dance halls to cultural milestones, Bello gave Nigerians more than music—he gave them memories. Though his journey was interrupted by tragedy, his impact remains unshaken. His career serves as a reminder that legacy is not measured by longevity alone but by the footprints left on culture. As Nigeria reflects on his contributions, one truth becomes clear: Ahuja Bello may have taken his final bow, but the music never ends. Rest in peace, Ahuja Bello. The juju lives on.
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