Relationships come with a lot of perks. However, there are quite a number of perceptions about what a good relationship should look like or what should happen in one.
One such perception is having a backup partner just in case something happens in your current relationship. While some might argue to the ends of the earth that this is the best thing to do, over time, it has shown the results and after effect of this act remains the same.
You may not want to give it up, simply because you have proof of its positive result, however, along the line, there are certain effects it has on your emotions, and in the long run, it might lead you to act irrationally if care is not taken. There are a lot of reasons, why you should share this school of thought, however, here are 3 that absolutely stand out.
- Lack of commitment: If you feel this way, then its absolutely normal. Naturally, when human beings are aware of the many options they are presented, they begin to put in less commitment to whatever they have been found doing, and the same applies to relationships. The moment you are aware that you have other options, or rather ‘a back up’ partner, you lose all sense of commitment in your current relationship, because for you it is NOT all or nothing.
When this happens, little misunderstandings that should be settled swiftly, begin to prolonged, and eventually might lead to a breakup. There is no end to many bad possibilities that could arise from being in your relationship half-heartedly. You may find yourself investing in other relationships, which might turn out not to be healthy for you, all in the name of trying to a grip of yourself, or trying to feel good about how ‘wanted’ you are. This is totally uncalled for and it is important to get rid of other side affairs, in order to fully focus on the mountain you have ahead of you.
- Emotional Instability: When you have a backup partner, believe it or not, you become emotionally unstable. Your feelings begin to change per time spent in the arms of other people other than your current partner, or as you may put it your ‘back up’ partner. This builds room for quite a number of insecurities in your relationship, and ultimately, you might find yourself cheating on your partner.
At this moment, all you want is your partner and the next thing you want someone else. Along the line, you will begin to compare qualities, and eventually give yourself reasons why you deserve better than what you are currently being given in your relationship. This is not healthy for any romantic relationship. It stifles growth, and breeds toxic characters which could destroy any relationship no matter how strong.
- Heartbreak: Whether you like it or not, when you begin to keep back-up partners, you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. This would lead to the constant thought of it, and eventually, you are subconsciously warmed up for when it happens, and if this is kept up even in the next relationship, then the cycle becomes unbreakable, and you find out that you can never really fully settle down in one relationship.
This is when great friendships come in handy. If you think you might get vulnerable immediately after a break-up, then talk to your friend about and let them know that you are banking on them to keep you in check just in case this happens. It is also equally as important to keep an open and optimistic mind when it comes to relationships.
There are no two relationships, that are exactly the same. You would also agree that you cannot fully duplicate your past experience onto the present, somethings will definitely be altered. With this mindset, open yourself to all the experiences you are set to encounter in your current relationship, and take them as they come whether good or bad, besides, no one ever said it was going to be easy.